December 30, 2023

4:02pm

All my extended family is finally gone and I can have some time to myself. I'm so relieved, too, I was beginning to really think they'd never leave! I was so tired of it. I am very tired of it still. YEP I'm here to talk once more about substance abuse. I have had very little weed this trip, at least in this latter half, because my greedy ass can't ration to save my life. It feels like every day I'm here is just longer and longer I'm not HOME and I'm tired of it. I tried to switch my flight and even cried over it but my parents were VERY upset at the idea of me leaving two days early, so I'm stuck here til Monday. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but I miss my girlfriend, my cat, and weed!
Sometimes I think about all the opportunities in life I've turned down because of addiction. America is an addiction enabling country that traps people within it. Maybe I'm the problem, because many people don't have this relationship with substances. I think I have some cycle of bipolar anxiety that just keeps me stuck. Omg diagnosed don't kill me! Whatever. Speaking of diagonsed - my therapist reccomended I get tested officially for autism, so I told my mom, and she shut me down so fast. I kind of hate living here at times (thinking emoji lol).
In other news, I got project diva mega mix! I might do a gift haul... Will certainly poll! May be my next entry.